Intuition

Intuition

Trust your gut is what we’ve always been taught. Follow your instincts...follow your heart. It becomes a bit of a fools errand when you don’t and at times when you do.. How can you tell if you’re on the right path? How do you know you’re doing the right thing? These are questions I’ve had to ask myself as of late. I’ve been in situations and had to make decisions I have never encountered before in my life. It’s been daunting, it’s been exhausting, and terrifying. I have never felt so damn vulnerable in my life. I had never felt like I’m putting so much at risk, and yet I didn’t have very much to lose. Sure....heartbreak, but it’s not like I hadn’t experienced that before. It’s not like I didn’t know what it was like to lose someone. I stood my ground...I’m still standing my ground...I’m opening myself up, letting every bit of myself be seen. Every dark corner, I want it all out. I’m actually trying, I’m putting up a fight...for love.

I had reached a breaking point, I had hit that wall. I could move no further, I felt everything was futile. And, I just let go.  I opened my arms, wide and I just fell back. I let myself hit whatever it was necessary for me to hit in order to wake me up. Wake me up to tears that would no sooner come. To the pit of my stomach finally subsiding. Rest. Stillness. I allowed myself to feel whatever it was that I needed. It hurt me, pulled from me many emotions. I was drained, completely depleted. For everything I gave I received nothing in return. I was barren. I had to seal myself up for a bit. I had to quiet my mind. Come to grips with things, heal.. let go..begin again. Make a solemn promise to never allow myself to be treated like that again. Love myself more, love myself better..

Whatever comes forth after that moment, I must always remember I come first. Know your worth, know you’re enough and carry yourself in that way. Always carry yourself, and if nothing else replenish yourself xx